Breaking for Air

(Hold on, I got to catch my breath...) *heavy panting from the out-of-shape sci-fi geek*

What a whirlwind the last couple months has been, and it doesn't look like it'll be slowing down any time soon. Between work and writing and medical "follow-ups", I've have little time for anything else. Including chit-chatting on my blog here with you all. Don't be hurt, please. I haven't had any time to hang with my in-person friends either.

That's the way it is though, I suppose, when you're trying to have it all.

I'm in a happy marriage and we have great kids. Keeping that stable is the number 1 priority and takes lots of energy and time. Working (the paying one) has been a zoo. Between department restructuring and organizational changes, my workload has bled into my evening hours.

And don't forget the brain tumor fiasco. Who knew one tumor resulted in a lifetime commitment? MRI's every four months, follow-ups and periodic check-ins with not only the oncologist, but neurologist and neurosurgeon. Not to mention the regular physicals with the primary care doc. It's like its own job!

Somehow, through all of this writing has been my emotional lifesaver. I guess not "somehow". Writing has always carried me through when the real world was getting a little too real. I could always step out of it and into the fictional world inside my head. I can't say it's because I control that fictional world. We writers know that's a bunch of bull crap. Characters and story lines drive our fingers on the keyboard, not the other way around.

It's because, there, I'm able to experience the journey without being completely invested.

I feel when the characters go through the trials and tribulation. I laugh when something funny happens. And I bask in the happy and content moments. But at the end of the writing session I walk away and don't have to deal with the consequences. It's not real.

Yeah, sometimes when it's pouring out of me it feels real. To the point that, when the session's over, I have to take ten or fifteen minutes to transition. And sometimes a point bugs me throughout the day, I meet a person who'd be a great character, or come across a scene that would be perfect for the story. But that's just a quirky side effect. I still set it aside when the real world needs attending.

Of course, there's also the whole expunging of emotions thing. I can be pissed off and open my word document, blow some shit up, and feel much, much better.

Just sayin'